The Little Sheep Who Looked Like Me

Today, somewhere between pink highlighter marks and hard truths in my Bible study, I absentmindedly drew a little sheep. I smiled when I looked at him.

His wool is a bit of a mess. His little legs are stick-straight and probably wobbly. His smile looks a little tired. He isn’t polished or impressive. He just looks like he’d been through some things.

The longer I stare at him, the more I realized- I think I drew myself. 😆 Thankfully though, not because I’m falling apart, but because there are seasons when life quietly attempts to wear on your soul, BUT God… He keeps showing up.

You keep loving your family. You keep serving. You keep answering texts, paying bills, folding laundry, going to church, making dinner, and checking the boxes.

Yet somewhere along the way, your heart begins choosing the path of least resistance. Not rebellion. But maybe if we aren’t paying close attention to the repercussions, we chose avoidance.

We stop asking the hard questions because we’re afraid of the answers. We avoid the difficult conversations because conflict is exhausting. We ignore the gentle conviction of the Holy Spirit because obedience often costs something.

It’s a subtle drift and one that doesn’t happen overnight.

The Bible study challenged me with a thought I haven’t been able to shake: apathy isn’t always loud. Sometimes it looks like simply dodging what God is inviting us into, because every time I avoid what He’s asking me to face, I’m not protecting myself, but distancing myself from His best.

God never calls us into hard places because He wants to make life miserable. He calls us there because freedom is usually waiting on the other side.

Growth is uncomfortable. Healing is uncomfortable. Forgiveness is uncomfortable. Trust is uncomfortable. But staying stuck has a cost too.

As I looked back at my little sheep, I couldn’t help but think about the kind of Shepherd we have. What gratitude knowing that He doesn’t shame the tired sheep, scold the wandering sheep, or throw away the messy sheep.

He comes after them. He carries them. He patiently calls them back again and again. Maybe that’s why I love my little doodle so much. He reminds me that I don’t have to have it all together to belong to the Shepherd. I just have to keep following His voice.

Even on the days when my wool is a mess, my legs feel shaky and I’ve BEEN THROUGH it. Because the safest place for a tired little sheep has never been pretending to be strong.

It’s staying close to the Shepherd.